11:19 PM
I get this a lot ;
Why are you always dancing?
A lot of people ask me that, but I really don't know the answer. All I know is that dancing makes me feel like I'm being set free by everything that is making me troubled. In other words, when I dance, it's usually because I just want to be relieved of stress...of whatever is making me feel sad. Right now, I'm getting goosebumps, even though it's super hot outside. I'm meant to be happy, but somehow this unknown weight is pushing me down. Shouldn't I be...? I mean, it's a weekend, and I'm talking to my friends, and listening to music, but why does my chest hurt? Why do I feel like I want to cry? Why did everything that just seemed so perfect, now seem so unreal and fake? Like fake sympathy, fake empathy, fake love.
I don't need your fake love if you're going to be scared about it. I'm sorry, but just take it somewhere else. It's hurting me, and you don't even know it, because I can't tell you. I'm sorry, I should tell you how much it does hurt, but you know what...I just can't bring myself to say it. I tell myself, hey, it's not a big issue, don't get too upset about it. Yeah, it's not a big deal, at least not to anyone, but to me, it hits where it hurts most.
That's why I don't get it. People act cold in order to act, but they're hurting the ones that they most care about. Does that really seem fair to you? I don't think so. I mean, they're obviously trying to prevent something very destructive from happening to them, but what about person that's hurting? You know, the non-existent life? But they don't see that because they're too worried about what's going to happen to them. How SELFISH. I guess they cared too much about their own lives that they didn't have to worry about the others.
I'm sorry, but it's not acting I'm looking for.
Labels: rant