Dear future/current child,
I hope you never find this on your own because then I'd have to explain so many things that are written here on this blog HAHA. Welcome to the thoughts of your mother when she was 16. When would I read this to you... probably when you're 16 too, so you can get an insight of the life I lived and you can at least understand that I've actually been through what you're probably going through right now.
I hope that when you're born, you'll be a perfectly healthy baby. No complications, what so ever. But if by some chance that you do, then I will always let you know that I'm here for you no matter what. Before you're even born, I'll be like every other typical mum, going to all of these different kinds of shops to buy prams and toys, and clothes; pink if you're a girl, and blue if you're a boy. I'm always undecided as to what gender I want you to be, but at the end of the day, I tell myself that I don't really mind, because I would love to have a girl but I would also love to have a boy. When you're just born, I'll make sure to take pictures of you, so I can put it in a scrapbook and show you when you're older. I don't know why, but I love those kinds of things, and I wished my mum and dad (Your grandma and grandpa) did those sorts of things for me (Well actually, they do have photos but I kind of drew all over them as a kid). You know what though, my mum warned me of birth as a kid, and told me stories of how she was all hospitalised and in pain when she had me/my brothers, so I hope that having you would be beneficial.
I promise you that I'll try to be the best mother possible. Of course I'd have my moments and be strict on you, but I hope you realise that it's for the good of your future. I used to be like you, too. I used to think that life was so unfair because my parents always screamed at me and hit me if I did badly in school, but growing up, I realised that they did this because they love me. Hitting your kid isn't easy, you know. I've had my fair shares of seeing my mum cry when she was screaming at us. It's like repeatedly hitting yourself. In saying that, I will be more carefree than what your grandmother was like. Of course I'll let you go out with your friends and sleepover, so you can experience what other kids your age experience. I'll give you money to go shopping, and just as long as you have fun, it'll be fine with me.
Whatever you choose to do in life, I promise that I'll support you. As long as you have the passion to do it, I'll be your mentor, I'll be there for you. I don't need you to become a doctor or become a lawyer or become something that requires a 99.95ATAR. Just as long as you are happy with your career and that you have the motivation and passion that drives you to do it. BUT. You will also need to do well at school. Now I don't mean get 100% at everything, but as long as you are doing well, then I'm over the moon.
I'll drive you to whatever lessons you want to take, because seeing you perform your best means the world to me. If you're a boy, I'll take you to soccer lessons as a child. And if you're a girl, I'll enrol you to every dance class there is! Simply because I didn't get to have enough dance classes as a child when I'm growing up. If you don't like it, then it's fine with me, we'll find something else that you're interested it and I promise that I will never complain about having to drive you.
Of course there'll be times when you're growing up and you begin to rebel against me. It's fine, I have to just remind myself that I also did this as a child. At the end of the day, I hope you come to your senses and just believe me when I say that everything I do, I do for you and your own benefit. Just please remember to always respect me, your father, and everyone that is older. Please do not take drugs/smoke/become an alcoholic and please don't go off the wrong path (If you do though, I'll always be there for you and won't neglect you). I hope you become the best person that you want yourself to be, and whatever struggles you have with your life, I'll be there to carry on with you. Im sorry if I ever snap at you or if I ever get angry at you and hit you when you do the wrong thing. My parents also did that to me as a child, and I know that it hurts and I myself have wondered as a child, "Why do they even do this?", but as I grow older, I understand that it hurts them just as much as it hurts me, and that whenever they scream at me, it's to show me the difference between right and wrong, and when they hit me, it's to show me what I'm doing wrong, and what I should do right.
Remember that you are my child, and I will always always always x 3153898353, love you, no matter what life may bring.
Love,
Mum.
