J.

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Joanne Elizabeth Ly
Currently 16, Studying at Hurlstone Agricultural High School. Living life one day at a time. I'm just your normal average girl who just likes to blog about her insecurities. I like to swear and I flip the finger a lot. I love my friends and without my family, I would not be the one I am now.

I'm generally loud and confident enough to approach any stranger and strike a random conversation. It's these things I do that make life worth living.

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The way out
Quynh Nguyen
Amanda Ramos
Chrstina Wu
Helen Ly
Huy Nguyen
Eugene Cheung
Kathy Quach
Kelly Lam
RaeAnne Carorasan
Alex Dang
Alex Tran
Amannda Cheng
Hillary Nguyen
Regina Hong
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Minh Pham
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Monday, February 7, 2011 7:49 PM

Life after Death

Have you ever had those moments where you just sit in front of your closet having a mindblank? When you know what you're going to wear, but suddenly just forget in that split second? Where you can't do anything but just kneel down and look at the clothes, staring into space, wondering what the hell is going on in your life? Yeah...I had those moments today.

I was really happy with the result of going back to school today, believe me, I was ecstatic. The pace of school went by really quick, and I really do wished that I could've stayed back longer. School makes me happy, I really don't know why. Especially Hurlstone, since time flies so fast there. I thought that 'Hey, today's going to be an excellent day, I'm going to laugh and not cry and not whine and not complain because today is a beautiful day". So I got home, did my usual stuff, I ate, I drank, I laughed and I went on MSN, like usual. But there was this one point that suddenly everything crashed. Like what people say 'You never know how long something you say can stay in a girls mind'. Alright, it's cool, something like this won't upset me, it's fine, I got this. Hey, it's not a big deal, I'm fine with it, I just need a break. I think to myself, yeah that's fine, I'll just get a cup of water and relax.

As I was passing through, going to the kitchen, I somehow just stopped at the table and looked at the mail sent in. 3 letters. One from the ticket box, containing my tickets to see Bruno Mars (Yay) and one from my Dentist specialist, but addressed to my dad. I couldn't really see the last one, so it took a bit of time to actually read who it's to and what it contains. As I picked up that last letter, I instantly regretted it. There, in a white envelope and a stamp, was a letter, addressed to my Grandmother. 3 years. For 3 years, no one has ever sent a letter to my Grandmother because she passed away. But today, there was the name 'Khai Luong' written across the thin see-through paper. I kind of got mixed emotions as I saw that. Sadness, happiness, confusion. Memories rushed back into my head.

And that's where I started my post. Where I'm meant to be getting ready for dancing, but all I did was stare at my closet and think about what the hell is going on with my life. Where the hell is life going to take me? My whole soul just left me and I collapsed, in front of my closet just wondering what is going on in my life. What is going on with Grandma? Is she enjoying time up there..? I wonder what happens after death...it's certainly a very scary thought...but really, I want to know. And truth is...

I want her back. I've said this a lot of times, but I really want her back. Words can't explain and describe the emptiness I feel without her. If I could bring her back, in exchange for my own life, I would. Have you ever heard the song 'Missing you' by First Lady? It goes a little something like this...
"I'd cry for you
I'd lie for you
And there's no doubt that if I could take your place in heaven
I would die for you, yes I will
I would rather give up my life
Than to see tears in your eyes
I can't stand to see you cry"

And it's true. I would really give up my life for Grandma.

Random post, but I really wanted to get this out. For the better I guess.

♥ J
Labels: rant